Why the waiting is so hard

I don't talk about my grief on this blog. Most of this blog has been very focused on our adoption and it probably will continue to be that way. My grief has become such a part of me that I don't feel it's something separate from any other part of my life. It's hard to explain but basically I'm always grieving for my daughter. It's something I've been doing for over a year now and will continue to do as long as I live. But, I think the grief does make the waiting in this adoption process a lot harder. Justin and I have talked about this at great length and we both feel this way.

It's so hard to be so far away from your children. We have one child in Heaven and one child who living halfway around the world. It's heart wrenching at times. Today is one of those days. The weather is changing here in CA. It's our first real rainy day of the season. I don't mind the rain but it's funny how the weather can affect your mood so much. It's easier for me to happy on sunny days and harder to feel like everything is okay when it's dark and gray.

I've never really doubted our decision to go forward with this adoption process. Both Justin and I feel very convicted that this is what we are meant to do. But, it doesn't make the waiting any easier. The adoption process requires a large amount of faith that everything will turn out the way it's meant to be. Much like the grieving process. You must have faith that will you will survive it all.

I'd like to end this post with picture of my precious Abby. She sure did love her baths! It's one of my absolute favorite pictures of her because she just radiates joy. I wish I could include a picture of my other sweet girl. It will happen, someday soon.

Our paperwork has arrived

Our paperwork arrived in Eastern Europe on Monday! It was actually a day early and arrived with another adoptive family's paperwork that was a few days late. I was shocked that it arrived early since that never seems to happen in this process! It is currently being translated which we were told would take about a week. Then our facilitator in the country will make an appointment to submit it to the Ministry of Education. We are predicting that the earliest that it will be submitted will be sometime next week. We are hoping to travel for our 1st trip sometime in November. A lot of that will depend on the schedule of our facilitator. She has quite a few other families that she is working with and she can't be in two places at once!

So we're waiting, again. But, we are keeping busy with working on the additional education that is now required. The requirement went from 10 hours to 80 hours. Yes, that is a crazy jump! Once our adoption is over I will give you my true opinion about all this but for now I will do what I'm told. We're taking an online course that is based on an international adoption book and it's actually very interesting and helpful. It's much better than the online classes we took for our home study requirements. Part of the new education requirements is that 30 hours have to be "face-to-face". Nobody is quite sure yet what that means but that will probably be the most expensive and difficult part for us to complete. It might cost us around $2,000, yikes! And another expensive requirement that we did not originally plan for is that we have to get medical exams during our court trip. This exam will be in the capital city and probably cost a total of $2,000 for both of us. The Region we are adopting from did not require this exam until recently. Possibly $4,000 added on to our costs!

We are also planning for our travel. I've started reading a guidebook about the country we are going to be traveling to. Something I would do before I traveled anywhere. The strange part is that we are traveling to this country but we don't really get to decide where we're going to go. It's like traveling for business. You are going to a particular place and so you figure you might get a do a little sightseeing while you are there. The guidebook is making me wish we were going to get to see a lot more of the country. Though I think I would choose a different time of year to visit than the middle of winter! But, it's giving me an appreciation for our little girl's country and cultural heritage which I feel is really important. By adopting a child from another country in a lot of ways her heritage becomes a part of ours.

I changed out our giveaway page to a timeline page. It was one of the features I really liked about adoption blogs when I was reading quite a few before we started this process. I feel like we've been at this process for a long time, but it's only been 3 months!

Our paperwork is on it's way

The big adoption news is that our paperwork is on it's way to Eastern Europe! I've been stressing and pushing and bugging people for the last few weeks so we could get all this paperwork done and out of our hands. I think that is the key if you are adopting. You have to be assertive about getting people to do their parts, and do it quickly. They will never understand your urgency. This child is your child that is just waiting in an orphanage and though others might care, they will not care like you do!

I was extremely frustrated on Friday when after driving 40 minutes each way to have 30 papers notarized, I discovered that they were all done incorrectly. Technically, the notary should have known this, but most notaries never notarize documents that need to be apostilled by the Secretary of State. The SOS will only accept documents that are notarized in one of two ways and the wording has to be exact. I realized that I could have saved us this frustration if I had taken the time to research this more thoroughly myself, but in the end it didn't delay our progress at all, so it wasn't a big deal. The notary had offered her services for free so we didn't have her redo them. I changed all the documents and we found another notary who also notarized all of them for free. Let me just say I am an expert at notary stuff now. Never thought I would say that! And I'm very thankful that my Dad is a real estate broker and knows all the notaries at the title companies!

So, on Monday morning we drove 40 minutes each way again to have our papers notarized. Then I came home to wait for a FedEx package from our home study agency and then drove 20 minutes to downtown Sacramento to have it all apostilled. Registration dossier=15 documents=$312. Other states don't charge as much for apostilling, but everything is more expensive in CA! We're also very lucky that we live so close to the SOS office. Otherwise, we wouldn't have been able to do this so quickly. The end result was a package sent priority overnight to our child placing agency. She received at 9:48 on Tuesday morning and told me that she would send it overseas later that day! This paperwork sets everything in motion for us in our little girl's country. The paperwork will be translated and then submitted to the Ministry of Education in her Region. Once they register us, we should receive an invitation to travel to meet her! Sometimes I would ask myself, "why am I stressing so much about a bunch of papers?" Well, that's why! These papers are directly leading us to our daughter.

Giveaway Winner!

I was going to post this last night but it got very late, so I'm posting it now. We have a winner for our Amazon Gift Card!

The winner is Jake S.!

We had 1133 entries and the winning entry was 112. Here is the picture of the computer screen and the Random.org random number generator.

Thanks to everyone who donated money to our FSP! We truly appreciate all your support!

This will probably be a 2 blog post day as we have other adoption news but I would like to put it in a separate post.